Anger management is a common buzz phrase for the need to find better ways to fully express feelings about a situation or issue. Anger is a universal outward and visible response to negative internal feelings. It is not that anger that is the problem for most people, it is the method they choose to express this natural feeling.
The expression, "Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery" completely summarizes how many of our children learn to express anger with screaming and tantrums. If family members, particularly parents, are frequent seen yelling, throwing object and slamming thing around by even their very young children, they are teaching that child how to express anger. Most parents have no idea what a strong model they are for their children's behaviors. Understanding this will help parents make the changes that can reteach their children better expressions of anger.
Anger in our teens is frequently born of frustration. Adolescents struggle with identity of self, sense of belonging and a need for their abilities to be recognized. While they are only a few short years past needing to a parent's watchful eye over them constantly, they are traveling through the years of greatest growth in their lives. They are rapidly gaining the framework for adult decisions but lack the fleshing out gained from experiences of life. Parents frequently make the mistake of continuing to treat these young adults as the immature kids they so easily remember. Parents continue to nag and micro manage rather than giving the teen a chance to organize time and develop their own ways of doing things. Teens most frequently lash out when they perceive that others are demeaning their abilities and treating them like the children they once were.
Adult anger is generally born of the belief that their feelings are unvoiced, unheard and/or unappreciated. The unvoiced anger is frequently transferred to the next opportunity where there is a sense of safety or superiority. An employee may not be able to express his anger towards his boss but may transfer that anger to a coworker or later as road rage or toward their spouse or children when home. The unheard anger stems from someone attempting to express their feeling but are ignored as the audience is too busy or too wrapped up in their own issues. The unappreciated anger is when the feeling are trivialized and dismissed as invalid responses to the situation. All of these discredit the person's feelings and the situation that created them leaving that person with frustration and searching for ways to be heard.
The commonality of all of these is the valid need to express negative emotions in relationship to a problem. It acts as an alarm of the person's perception that something is wrong, needs to be addressed but feels ineffective in making the change. This perception of inability can relate to self esteem or external factors that are beyond one's control. Therefore the most effective form of anger management is an honest, emotion based analysis of the event(s) to find the underlying trigger and learn to choose the most productive response to change the emotional response.